Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
The less hair I have, the more head I get.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Friends don't let friends drive Naked.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot-proof and someone
will make a better idiot.
Full Sized Tile: